Prachanda’s new book released

It was gestating for a long time, the prose ripened with every day, gravitas lent to itself, insouciance transpiring and finally it convulsed with a trade-mark bang: HIS book was born. A tome of 47 5/8 pages of distilled thoughts and mental lapses.

Prachanda’s book is out. And there is no doubt – and if you have them you will be killed, sorry – it will make headlines, it will make people squeamish, forsaking rebirth, perhaps considering sex change.

Some excerpts: Prachy deals about his long way to P.O.W.E.R. He describes ebulliently his first night  in Gyanendra’s bed in the royal palace with girls from 7 different jaats and 2 dildos. Then there is the passage about his, ehem, feelings for the US ambassadoress; we’ll skip it because it is NSFW. His fondness for dheedo with marshmellows. The ephemeral relationship with Prez Yadav whom he called amongst his closest friends ‘The Nigger’ and then spitting on the floor. Legendary his glib conversations with septuagenarian Koirala when he could barely conceal his hands forming into a stranglehold. Finally the rare moments of solace at home with his bitch of some 20 years … Forcefully recommended!

Peewee Magar bring glory back the Nepals

Khagendra Thapa Magar (shown here with his sexy wife and former porn star), the shortest man in the world, known for his bold and decisive moves politically as well as socially,  announced today at a packed programme at City Hall, Kathmandu, he will be axing Madav K. Nepal.

In a blistering speech he blasted the lackluster performance of Madav K. Nepal, the current PM. “How in all seriousness dare this douchebag walk around in broad day light using the name of our beloved country and thus besmirching all sentient beings? His days are over, he will be gored by Mahakala.”

Jumping up and down – the tele prompter had not been properly adjusted – he enthused “We will make Nepal grrreat, brring it to its rightful glory. Change is here! Me can sees it.”

And in the direction of India “Let there be no misunderstanding, Nepal is ready to kick ass diplomatically. We are not country run by towel daddies.”

Congrats to new Indian PM Kumar Nepal

MK Nepal shown here getting his cues from Delhi via hotline.

It canna be noa coincidence zat India has just voted for a new Indian PM, which happens to be da old one widda towel, and Nepal follows suit and elects in a hotly campaigned election with no one else running – yes, you calla dat deez days a de-mo-carzy – also an Indian PM, running under ze disguise and nom de guerre Madav Kumar Nepal.

Da press

A 56-year-old former student of Bihar’s Goenka College became Nepal’s new prime minister on Saturday after an election on the floor of the interim parliament had no challengers, though the Maoists boycotted the exercise and announced they would not join the new government.

We missed it by three months only

We proudly state we were wrong by just three months. Many months back we forecast that Prachanda would be out after a max. of eleven months. He proved us wrong and his class by doing it in just eight months. The able Dear Leader. And he went by quoting Douglas Adams copious times which endeared him even more to us.

May we now guide your treasured attention to some more mundane topic – even more so in today’s time -, that of

Ten reasons to invest in Nepal

Even more so, when the post starts with

While the companies like Samsung, Kodak, LG, Kia etc have entered Nepal, their performance has not been very good in the past. The things are likely to change when Maoist are in the government. Many more companies are likely to follow the investment in this Himalayan country provided the early movers succeed. There are multiple reasons why companies would like to invest in Nepal:

see them here and have your checkbook handy.

In our irreverent vanity we make yet another prognostication, listen up:

Latest by 2010 the Nepalese Army will take over the country. Why not go here and place your bet. And remember, you may lose everything.

Thanks for your help in the Mumbai attacks, Nepal

Yep, that is no surprise. 10 years ago over Xmas the airplane thing and now we hear that Nepal was again helpful in helping to prepare the Nov. 2008 attacks in Mumbai.

A friend in need is a friend indeed. Thanks Nepal and now fuck off.

Urgent, 10 reasons to invest in Nepal.

We have come across an article with said title which we not only find fitting the times – everybody is asking him/herself where do I invest, or should I rather kill myself – and to address it is downright pressing. So we will get to this in due course of time in about a couple weeks, or make that months. But rest assured, we have it flagged in the RSS reader. Thank you, good night.

Toxic assets – Nepal in danger of default?

The press, TV and all is full of it: Toxic Assets. Banks have it but don’t disclose to the full, hedgies got it. Oh, it’s ugly. But be honest, it is hard to actually visualize it. Well, Nepal comes, ehem, clean on it and shows the stuff. It is so the very first country, as in so many instances, to disclose. And to do so fully. Om Namas.

(Nepali Times)

As to the question of the possibility of a default. How can you default when your default setting is default?

Nepal goes carbonlite. Beacon of hope in Asia!

The successful government of His Majesty Prachanda Bin Bahul Alhamsa Dahal IV consequently follows up on its avowed path towards an 80% reduction in energy consumption.

Dahal IV again reiterated the total commitment in a rousing speech before of the House of Dilettantes on Friday. “Nepal will be the beacon of hope in Asia. Revolutionary circumstances call for revolutionary ideas. Nepal will be 80% carbonlite in 2009. To achieve this we will extend our successful program of 12 hour power cuts to 16 hours. Jai Nepal! Change has come!”

PM Dahal celebrates Christ’s coming

PM Pushpa Dahal pensively celebrating 1. Advent.

According to Christian tradition Advent is celebrated on the four Sundays before the auspicious birth of the still very famous second-rate entertainer JC. He was a cute little boy who later in his life developed a penchant for punks and other antics such as walking on water and in his ecstatic way took it to such extremes one day that he got himself nailed to two planks. Anyway, tomorrow is 3. Advent (3 candles!), so the little bugger is around the corner.

PM Puspa Dahal has quietly, as his his usual trait, converted to Christianity. His Christian name is Brother Johannes Bene Dick Tus. People very close to him tell that he had an epiphany once in a jungle hideout years back when a slender white deer crossed his path while he was aiming at some soldiers. The nebulous and fleeting appearance of the sylvan creature never left Pushpa’s mind. He took it as an omen and divine steering. And from then on he was a changed human being ever since.

Amen

‘xcuse me while you are bitching this out, could we perhaps

debate over whether the party should adopt a totalitarian ‘people’s republic’, a ‘democratic republic’ or a ‘banana republic’. Better to get listed right away here.